We’ve all heard the famous clichés: “If you quit now, you’ll be a quitter for the rest of your life.” Or,  “You made a commitment, you have to keep it.” As parents, a big part of our job description is teaching integrity and instilling a strong work ethic in our offspring.  Often times, this means being the bad guy when our children want to give up on an activity they originally begged to sign up for.
 
But, is making a child continue with something they dislike always necessary?  As with most things, I think there is a lot of gray area in making decisions like this.  Although there are times when your child should certainly “stick it out,” there are other times when discontinuing an activity might be the right thing to do.  Below are a few things to consider when deciding if your child should quit or not:
 
Determine why your child wants to walk away:  Does he truly not enjoy the activity, or is something else going on?  Is someone being mean?  Is your child having difficulty mastering something or is she frustrated? Figuring out the reason your child wants to give up on something is an important factor in deciding if you should allow her to walk away.  Sometimes she might just need a little extra help in getting over a hurdle; or maybe it’s time for some adult intervention to settle a dispute among kids.  Often, simply addressing an issue will bring the joy back to an activity.
 
Will your child’s exit cause a problem for the rest of the group?  If so, this might be the perfect time to teach your child a lesson about commitment. If quitting only affects your child, it isn’t as big of a deal as when it affects others.
 
Is the activity short term or long term?  If you’ve signed up for a month long activity, it might make more sense to stick with it than if it’s a commitment that lasts for several months.  Even the most committed adults don’t want to attend an activity they dislike every week for an entire year.
 
The bottom line is knowing your child and his patterns.  If he often gives up on what he starts, perhaps you should try to understand why this occurs and address the issue.  But, if she most often sticks with an activity until the end, and she just doesn’t like something new, there probably isn’t any harm in simply walking away.
 
Parenting can be difficult at times.  Your child’s pediatrician and teachers are great resources who can offer valuable insight to situations like this.  Don’t be afraid to reach out to them.
 
Kelly McIntire is a children’s author who believes that magic and adventure should begin in childhood and last a lifetime.  Her books include Time Twistedand Adventures in Fairy Meadow.
Visit her website at www.kellymcintireonline.com for more information, or follow her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/kellymcintirewriter/?ref=bookmarks.
 
 

​​By the time many of you get around to reading this, you might have already broken your New Year’s Resolutions at least once or twice.  That isn’t meant as a negative dig; most of us make and break resolutions without even thinking about the reasons why.  Usually, resolutions aren’t decisions that come from our hearts. Instead, they are something we do out of tradition or even obligation.  They are what we think we “should” do instead of what we actually want to do.
 
Well, I suggest that we turn that backward way of thinking around!  Ringing in the New Year is supposed to be a celebration, so instead of beginning anew with drudgery, let’s focus on a resolution that will bring joy and togetherness to you and your family.  This year, I propose that you resolve to laugh more.
 
As Americans, stress has become a way of life for many of us.  A recent global poll by Gallup found that adults in the US are among the most stressed in the world.  https://time.com/5577626/americans-stressed-out-gallup-poll/  We all know that the effects of stress are detrimental to our physical and psychological health, and this impacts how we live our lives and how we interact with our families.  However, we can’t just pretend that stress doesn’t exist either; it’s part of life.
 
Luckily, it seems that the best antidote for stress is laughter!  A 2019 article in HelpGuide.org claims that laughter really is the best medicine. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm In addition to relaxing your muscles, it releases endorphins, boosts your immune system, burns calories, and helps protect your heart.  And although there doesn’t seem to be a study or poll on this, I think we can also agree that laughing brings a family together like almost nothing else.
 
So, instead of getting caught up in all the things that you think you “should” do to improve your health, your waistline, and your family, why not resolve to do the one simple and fun thing that will accomplish all of them?  This year, laugh more.
 
As you ring in 2020, I wish you happiness, peace, and of course, laughter.

Kelly McIntire is a children’s author who believes that magic and adventure should begin in childhood and last a lifetime.  Her books include Time Twistedand Adventures in Fairy Meadow.
Visit her website at www.kellymcintireonline.com for more information, or follow her on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/kellymcintirewriter/?ref=bookmarks.